Misrelate

I originally wrote this in college, but it is still just as timely now.

You never know what you have until it’s gone.

I always believed in that. It seemed logical enough, and after thinking about it, I even found myself consciously cherishing moments I was spending with a friend or just doing something I enjoyed. Yet, I never fully realized just how deep the meaning of that one sentence really was. Until last September, that is.

September 29, 1989 is a day that I will always remember, although in a way, it is a day I really don’t want to remember. This was a day when all time stopped, and my heart and life shattered into a million pieces.

This was the day my mother died.

It wasn’t like we weren’t expecting it. She had cancer ever since I was a small child. It’s one of those things you know is inevitable, but you don’t really believe it will ever happen. Mothers are forever; they’re a constant part of our life, a part so constant and so close that we often take them for granted.

The reality is that they can disappear so incredibly fast. People we love can be here one day and gone forever the next.

It’s amazing how you change when something like this happens. All the pain, shock, sadness and utter loneliness you feel, no matter who you still have around. The pain doesn’t die out quickly, either. It’s the most persistent pain I’ve ever felt.

I keep waiting for it to go away, or at least subside, but as time goes on, it only seems to be getting worse. It’s such a mixture of different feelings and emotions that it’s almost impossible to explain. It’s not something I would wish on anyone.

My mother was my closest friend and the person I loved more than anyone else in the world, and I’m left now with only memories. If I could do back in time, I would, even if it were only to have one of those mother-daughter fights. You’d be surprised at the silly things you start to miss.

Mom did so many things for me that I never even noticed. Like punishing me and saying she was only doing it because she loved me. It never sinks in until so much later. Too much later. She touched an amazing number of lives with her strength and courage. She was one of the most beautiful spirits that ever touched upon this earth, and I can only hope to keep her spirit alive within myself for as long as I am here.

So the next time you’re sharing a sunset with someone you love, having a laugh with some friends, or even fighting with one of your parents, remember our lives are but a fleeting moment in time. They come and go so quickly. Live each day of your life to the fullest, as it it’s all going to end tomorrow. You have to live for what you have, live for now, grasp every second that you can.

Appreciate and love everything there is. Cherish every breath you take, every smile you share, and every tear that falls. These are the moments that pass without a single thought.

Arielle Sumner Consoli has been dubbed “Long Island’s Favorite Life Coach”. Aside from writing for such websites as The Long Island Guide (Ask the Coach!) and longisland.com (The Life Coach Expert) she has helped numerous people live their ideal lives by making lasting changes, removing blockages, achieving goals and by simply showing them how possible it is to truly live their dream. Arielle gives complimentary sesions, and hold numerous teleclasses throughout the year. Stop by her website at http://indigoskiescoaching.com for more information.

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An unfortunate and inevitable part of depression is hitting rock bottom. It can lead to suicidal thoughts, random crying jags, extreme symptoms and other various symptoms. It can be very difficult to watch and even harder to deal with. It is hard to hear but the best thing to do at that point is to be there for them. Let them come to you, or if they don’t seem to be doing it on their own, then go to them and hold them. That will sometimes be exactly what they need. It may induce a crying jag, but that is actually healthy. It gets them to start letting out the negative energy that is building up.

It is also important not to really leave them alone right now. If your significant other is trying to be alone, it could be so that they harm themselves. No matter what they say, it is not a time to let them be alone. They could say many things, including that they no longer love you, that they are breaking up with you, whatever they can say in order to get you to leave.

Let them rely on you, this is one time when the term “a shoulder to cry on” is less of a metaphor than others. Let them curl up with you and cry. Be a comforting source here. Unfortunately, it is not the best time to let your own emotions out. As hard as it can be, this is a time to be steady for them. After it is over, you can both sit down and talk, but at this point, you need to find a way to just be there for them.

Learn to alleviate your depression at http://www.curemydepression.com

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Many of us think in pictures and some of us think in words; all of us are capable of thinking in both ways. This is an interesting consideration in that, the brain can think very fast in visual images, but putting does visual images onto a two-dimensional piece of paper in linear text will in fact take the a lot of words. For instance picture a type of car in your head then picture another type of car; now put into words the differences between the two cars so that anyone can understand. Okay, now you see the problem.

Simply imagine the problems that brilliant aerospace workers go through when discussing things. Now, imagine writing that into a white paper with no diagrams. You see the problem? Indeed this is not an easy task. If you visit any aerospace design team you will see whiteboards, chalkboards and sketch paper all around. These designers are using visual imagery from mind onto paper to communicate. And in doing so they are thinking while sketching.

Now that we have discussed that, let us consider a man who thinks by writing. For those who write a lot, me for instance having written 5000 articles in 12-months, we may actually dream about a subject during lucid dreaming stages, where we are sitting down any keyboard or staring at the screen on a computer running a word processing program. In this case our brains have been formatted to think in terms of words and writing.

I can tell you from my previous experience that before I started writing, I always thought in pictures and had trouble talking fast enough to keep up with my visual images in my mind, in fact my whole life everyone told me I talked to fast. Now then, I still talk too fast and often leave people in the dust. The folks often say you make me tired just listening to you. I suppose they would also get tired reading my 5000 articles, but that does not mean they would not learn something.

Most people would agree that writing is a very serious communication skill, which you will need to learn for success in a modern civilization. However, if we look back some 30 years, we will find that all the billionaires that existed, generally had not even finished high school. Why is that? Well, perhaps someone who thinks in terms of visual images rather than words on a piece of paper or a computer word processing program, thinks faster and inherently different.

Is that to harsh of a statement to make? Or does such a line of thought have some validity? Now then, many of the most brilliant aerospace designers have written so few white papers, yet their designs outperform many of the top academic aerospace design teams. This is of interest because like Beethoven who saw the music, Visa brilliant aerospace designers see the airflow and picture it all in their minds. And whereas the academic aerospace designer may in fact have good knowledge of all the characteristics and forces associated with flight, their minds are working differently. Although this is an abstract discussion, I hope you will consider the full ramifications of this philosophical thought and how that effects to speed to innovation in the forward progression of our species, if we failed to address the full aspects of the creative human mind. Consider all those in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

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